User blog:A Heroic Smurf/Reporter's Inside Stories: An Interview with Hero
NOTE: 'All characters in this blog post, bar Hero, are the ''EMPATH versions of the characters. This interview is not authorized nor endorsed by Vic George, the creator of the EMPATH: The Luckiest Smurf story series, and thus is considered non-canonical. It is inspired by the "Reporter's Inside Stories" from the EMPATH: The Luckiest Smurf story series. The Interview ''' Reporter: '''Today, my fellow Smurfs! I'll be smurfing an interview with someone rather unique. '''Empath: '''Who is it, Reporter? '''Reporter: My guest today is a Smurf, but he doesn't smurf from this universe. Brainy: '''What do you mean he doesn't smurf from this universe? '''Reporter: '''He smurfed here from his own universe using a method he didn't want to tell me. '''Papa Smurf: '''Who is this unique Smurf? '''Reporter: '''My fellow Smurfs! My special guest today is a Smurf called... Hero! (Out walks a Smurf wearing a golden hat and pants, he had a gold H on his forehead and a tattoo of a shield on his upper right arm, he waves to the crowd, with only a few Smurfs applauding.) '''Hero: '''Things really are different here. (Hero then sits down on a sofa next to Reporter) '''Reporter: '''First of all, I would like to thank you for coming here to our universe. '''Hero: '''It was no problem, Reporter. '''Reporter: '''So, please introduce yourself? '''Hero: '''Well, would you like me to tell you my full birth name or the name I'm commonly known by? '''Reporter: Either way suits you, but only if you're comfortable. Hero: 'Well, my full birth name is Kakarot Son Goku Heroic Smurf, but my fellow Smurfs would mostly call me Hero for short. '''Jokey: '(laughing) That's a mouthful! '''Reporter: '''Don't listen to him, Hero! So, tell us a little bit about yourself. '''Hero: '''Well, where do I begin? '''Reporter: '''Just tell us a little bit of your background. '''Hero: '''Well, I was once a normal Smurf before I... '''Hefty: '''What do you mean "once a normal Smurf"? '''Reporter: '''If you let him finish, Hefty! Then we would know, please continue. '''Hero: '''Well, when I was 50 years old. I was happily helping my fellow Smurflings gather smurfberries for a dinner we were smurfing that day, and after I finished smurfing my second basket, I smurfed a strange glow smurfing from a nearby tree. So, without thinking, I checked to see what it was that was causing it, and that was when I discovered that it was caused by 7 different colored stones. '''Duncan: '''What happened after that, laddie? '''Hero: '''I'm just about to tell you, my fellow Smurf! Well, as soon as I smurfed hold of one of them, the rest began to glow before my body absorbed their power. The result was that I now smurfed this H on my head, this shield tattoo on my upper right arm and strange powers. '''Brainy: '''That's what you get without thinking properly! '''Hero: (annoyed) Well I was only 50 years old! Can you blame me? Brainy: Yes! If you were like me, the Smartest Smurf in the Village. Then you would know that you NEVER smurf your hands on objects that don't belong to you. Especially these... magic stones that you speak of. Smurfette: '''Oh smurf up, Brainy! I'm rather interested in his story. Please continue. '''Hero: '''Thank you, my dear Smurfette! You're so much similar to my universe's Smurfette, sweet, kind, and caring. Anyway, when I first smurfed my powers, I immediately told my Papa Smurf about it, and the only advice he could smurf me was to be careful with my powers. And that was a task which was impossible for me to smurf, due to my young age. '''Empath: '''What happened? '''Hero: '''Well... (Hero closes his eyes tightly and clenches his fists) '''Hero: '''I almost killed one of my fellow Smurfs! '''Brainy: '''You WHAT! '''Hefty: '''You're a savage! '''Papa Smurf: '''Now, now, my little Smurfs! There must be a reason. '''Clumsy: '''Who was he? '''Hero: '''It was Jokey! '''Brainy: '''Ha! Smurfs you right, Jokey! '''Jokey: '''But, why me? '''Hero: '''Well, one day, the Jokey from my universe smurfed a prank on me and accidentally called me a power mad freak. Once he called me that, I smurfed on an uncontrollable rampage which resulted in me badly injuring him to the point of death. And there was nothing I could smurf to stop myself. '''Smurfette: That's horrible. Reporter: '''So what happened after that? '''Hero: '''My Papa Smurf had to exile me from the village. '''Papa Smurf: '''Exile! But, why did he smurf it? '''Hero: '''He smurfed it for the protection of not only the other Smurfs, but for the village itself. '''Reporter: '''How long were you exiled for? '''Hero: '''100 years. '''Reporter: '''Similar to Empath. '''Empath: '''Actually, it isn't. I was sent to Psychelia as a baby Smurf. At least he's comfortable in expressing his emotions. '''Reporter: '''Okay, time for another question. What is your role in your Smurf Village? '''Hero: I'm the Guardian of my fellow Smurfs. Tapper: (surprised) The name that my Papa Smurf gave Empath when we were young Smurfs means 'guardian' in the Ailill language. Hero: That's a big surprise! Reporter: Another question. Are there any Smurfs in your universe that you find yourself comfortable around? Hero: '(chuckling) Quite a few actually! There's my universe's Smurfette, Papa Smurf, Dempsey, Hawkeye, Fergus, and the love of my life, Wonder. '''Smurfette: '(shocked) What do you mean "love of my life"? Was I not good for you? '''Hero: '''No, no, it's not like that, Smurfette! I loved my universe's Smurfette with all my heart. In fact, it was because of my love and respect for her that made her want to become a real Smurf in the first place. '''Empath: '''Because you smurfed that? Wouldn't that make your Smurfette want to marry you? You didn't really give your fellow Smurfs a chance to show they love and care for her. '''Hero: '''She didn't smurf about marriage right away, since I only wanted to get to know her better once Papa Smurf made her a real Smurf, but, my fellow Smurfs got jealous about it. '''Reporter: '''Can you please tell us more about this Smurfette called Wonder? '''Hero: '''Gladly! Well, Wonder was a magical creation, but she wasn't created by Gargamel. '''Reporter: '''Where did she smurf from? '''Hero: '''She came from a magic mirror that I smurfed whilst helping Miner. '''Brainy: '''A magic mirror? I've never heard of such nonsense. '''Hero: '''It's the truth! The mirror was called the Mirror of Opposition, and it smurfs the opposite gender counterparts of whoever looks into it. '''Handy: '''That mirror sounds interesting. '''Reporter: '''How did she smurf into existence? '''Hero: '''Well, because I was infatuated with her, I disobeyed Papa Smurf's order since there was a lightning storm over the village that night. I sneaked into the warehouse; where the mirror was kept. And soon enough, a lightning bolt smurfed through the warehouse roof, struck the mirror and smurfed Wonder into a real Smurf. '''Reporter: '''I see, and how was your relationship to her? '''Hero: '''It was smurftastic! I loved every minute I smurfed with her! To me, she was the most beautiful female Smurf I ever smurfed. '''Reporter: '''What does she look like? If you don't mind me asking. (Hero produces a small picture of Wonder and shows it to Reporter. The picture shows a Smurfette with light brown hair, wearing a purple dress, red wrist cuffs, she had a gold H on her forehead, and wore a gold hat and high heels.) '''Reporter: (Impressed) I must say, she is rather beautiful! Was it hard to choose between her and Smurfette? Hero: It was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to smurf. Smurfette: Just a small question. Does this Wonder and the Smurfette of your universe smurf enhancements like me? Hero: Originally they didn't, but the Smurfette of my universe didn't smurf her enhancements until she was purged of her amorous affections for me. Smurfette: What are you smurfing about? Hero: Exactly one year after me and Wonder got married, the amorous affections that my Smurfette had for me had resurfaced and this caused her to go crazy around me. It wasn't until Doctor told me that the only way to cure her, was for me to mate with her. Smurfette: (sternly) And did you? Hero: Of course not! I didn't want to cheat on my wife. So I asked Tailor to smurf a doll that looked like me for her to expend her mating energies on. The result of which was that she now smurfed her enhancements. Empath: '''Just like what happened to Papa Smurf with Smurfette. '''Papa Smurf: I'd rather not talk about that, Empath! Reporter: '''What about Wonder? Did she smurf her own enhancements? '''Hero: Yes! A short while after Smurfette smurfed her enhancements, most of my fellow Smurfs couldn't stop smurfing their eyes off her. And I'm not afraid to admit that I did aswell. Since we never smurfed anything like them before. Empath: What did she smurf? Hero: She asked me if I still found her attractive and I told her that I would love her regardless of how she looked. So, she asked Papa Smurf and Doctor to see if there was anything they could do to smurf her her own set of enhancements, and eventually they smurfed plastic smurfery on her and she received her own set of enhancements. Tapper: '''Just a question. Did you smurf anything unsmurfy during the time that your Smurfette was crazy for you? '''Hero: '''Oh no, I was keeping myself pure until me and Wonder were ready to smurf intimate activities together. My good friend Abloec told me about how I should only smurf intimate activities with my spouse. '''Reporter: '''How long where you and Wonder married? '''Hero: '''Well, we were married for 15 years before we decided to smurf our first child together, but in total, we were married for 391 years. '''Smurfette: '''Was it a boy or a girl that you two smurfed? '''Hero: '''It was a girl, Smurfette! We named her Saviour! Her full birth name being Alvara Saviour Smurfette. '''Smurfette: How smurfy! 'Reporter: '''What about the Smurfette of your universe? Did she get the Smurf of her dreams? '''Hero: '(chuckling) She sure did! 'Hefty: '''Who was it? '''Hero: '''Me! '''Reporter: '''How could you be married to Wonder and then to Smurfette? '''Hero: '''Well, when me and my fellow Smurfs were around our 500's, Wonder had smurfed to the end of her life cycle. Since Doctor said that since she is a mirror creation, her life is much shorter than that of the creature it is the opposite of. Her passing left me in such a terrible state, that I almost smurfed my own life by smurfing myself into the fires of Mount Versmurfius. '''Smurfette: '(whispering) I hope you don't smurf that when I leave this world. 'Empath: '(whispering) Don't worry, Smurfette! This smurf would never smurf such a thing. 'Reporter: '''That sounds horrible. '''Hero: '''I know, but Smurfette told me that she would always be there for me, and to help me become the Smurf I once was. '''Reporter: '''So what happened? '''Hero: '''We were in a relationship for 10 years, we finally got married, which Smurfette stated on our honeymoon that it was long overdue. And finally, after 5 years together, we had a child. '''Reporter: '''Boy or Girl? '''Hero: '''Another girl! '''Reporter: '''What did you name her? '''Hero: '''We named her Miracle! Since she was one, because we were in our elder years when we smurfed her. '''Reporter: '''Finally, one last question. Was there anything from our Smurf Village that impressed you? '''Hero: '''Well, everything in your village is similar to mine, but the main thing that smurfed my interest the most was the Imaginarium. When I was told about what it could smurf, I just had to try it out. '''Reporter: '''I guess you'll be telling the Papa Smurf of your universe about the Imaginarium? '''Hero: '(excitedly) Of course! In my universe, me and my fellow Smurfs would smurf up with so many games to smurf that we wished we had somewhere to smurf it. And with the Imaginarium we can finally smurf those games to fruition. '''Reporter: '''Well, with no other questions to ask. I must thank you for smurfing to our universe for this interview. '''Hero: '''it was no problem, Reporter! I was happy to smurf here and meet so many different Smurfs! But anyhow, I must return to my universe, since my fellow Smurfs need me. Thank you all and farewell. (Hero puts two fingers to his forehead and soon disappears from sight). Trivia *The style of interview is based on that of modern day chat shows. Category:Blog posts